How to Flourish as a Psychotherapist

A searingly honest and highly personal account of the working life of a psychotherapist from Professor Brett Kahr.

How do you develop a truly rich and rewarding career in psychotherapy? How can you find joy in such painful work? How do you develop your skills in the field? How can you conquer your creative inhibitions? In short, how do you flourish as a psychotherapist? Brett Kahr answers these questions, and so many more, in his brilliant new book, painting a frank portrait of the life of the psychotherapist. Taking the reader through the life cycle of the therapist, Brett offers lots of practical advice, from assessing one’s suitability for the career, to managing one’s finances, to preparing for death. His clear voice and style shine through in this authentic, readable narrative. Professor Kahr has produced a must-read, gripping account of how you can thrive in every respect in this complex and rewarding career. How to Flourish as a Psychotherapist should be required reading for every therapist, anyone considering taking up the career, and everyone who has ever wondered what kind of person becomes a therapist. This is a truly original work that should become compulsory reading by all in the field.

INTRODUCTION Survival may not be enough Part One Building a Secure Base CHAPTER ONE A Noble, Complicated Passion Mouthwash for the Mind Zyklon B Gas in the Consulting Room Friends with Oesophageal Cancer and Vascular Dementia CHAPTER TWO Assessing One's Own Sanity The Perfect Candidate Pathological Motivations Can We Afford to Train? CHAPTER THREE On Marrying a Library Bibliophilia Psychotherapeutica Curling Up with Sigmund Freud My Three Favourite Reading Rooms CHAPTER FOUR The Joys and Pitfalls of Training A Child in a Sweet Shop Exhausted, Frazzled, and Scrutinised Legitimate at Last CHAPTER FIVE Cultivating Brilliant Mentors Dis-identifying from Disappointing Tutors A Most Inspiring Lecturer from Mendoza A Great Teacher Under Whom I Never Studied Part Two The Art of Prospering CHAPTER SIX Perpetual Pupils Training Never Ends How to Be a Medieval Monk Swimming in Organisations CHAPTER SEVEN Attracting Referrals The Art of Advertising My Last 500 Patients Answering the Telephone CHAPTER EIGHT Managing Money Under-Charging and Over-Charging Collecting Fees Financial Planning for the Future CHAPTER NINE The Promotion of Expertise Flagrant Exhibitionism or Neurotic Inhibitionism? Generativity versus Stagnation On Stage at the Royal Opera House CHAPTER TEN Patients as Persecutors and as Privileges The Prevention of Burn-Out Hate in the Countertransference Delightful, Honourable People Part Three Thriving Beyond the Consulting Room CHAPTER ELEVEN Nourishing Fledgling Colleagues Enlivening the Classroom On Being a Clinical Supervisor A Little Drink After Work CHAPTER TWELVE Public Lecturing My Very First Paper The Length of the Applause Addressing the United Nations CHAPTER THIRTEEN Daring to Research The Humiliation of Edward Glover A Search for the Traumatic Origins of Psychosis Sexual Fantasies at the Dinner Table CHAPTER FOURTEEN Writing Articles and Books The Agony of 300 Words and the Ease of 300,000 Publishing as a Relational Experience "Not Another Book on Projective Identification" CHAPTER FIFTEEN Blue-Sky Projects Freud Thinks Big A Bestseller and a Serial Killer Psychotherapists in Prison and in the Middle East Part Four Surviving Success CHAPTER SIXTEEN Avoiding Isolation The Need for Solitude Beware the Ethics Committee Choosing the Best Dinner Parties CHAPTER SEVENTEEN Navigating Envy Winnicott's Mutterings in Geneva Thank God I'm Overweight On Being Provocative CHAPTER EIGHTEEN Nurturing the Ageing Spine The Ultimate Narcissistic Injury The Ten-Minute Gymnasium Lounging on the Beach CHAPTER NINETEEN Embracing Idiosyncrasy Conquering Creative Entanglements Mourning Unfulfilled Dreams The Maverick in Mental Health CHAPTER TWENTY Preparing for Death The Appointment of Clinical Executors How to Retire Properly On the Shaping of a Legacy EPILOGUE My Parting Thoughts Acknowledgements About the author References Index,

• By (author) Brett Kahr

I found myself responding with enjoyment and gratitude to this book… Kahr is happy to share all he has learned the long way… [and] has a very serious point to make about the importance of deriving ‘deep delight’ from our work.

— Isobel Todd, Psychodynamic Counsellor

I recommend it not only to students and prospective students but to therapists at whatever stage of their career they may be. You’ll find plenty of solid evidence and inspiration to deepen and expand your practice, indeed your life.

— Dr David Van Nuys

The book seems aimed at traditional psychoanalytic psychotherapists but its wisdom applies much more widely.

— Roslyn Byfield MBACP (Accred), psychodynamic counsellor in private practice

‘This is an impressive and easy read (because it is well written and interesting) – a cradle-to-grave guide to building a successful practice – about not just surviving but “flourishing”. The book tackles all the stages of a career in psychotherapy, from choosing the most suitable course to what to do when you’re approaching retirement, and deals with real-life issues such as the envy of colleagues and back pain.’

— Martin Pollecoff, psychotherapist and UKCP chair

‘… this detailed and candid book … provides the reader with a comprehensive and revealing description of how to build and maintain a successful psychotherapy practice. … In lively conversational style he offers fascinating and humorous scenarios and anecdotes from different stages of his career.’

— Caroline Hallett

'This is an impressive and easy read (because it is well written and interesting) – a cradle-to-grave guide to building a successful practice – about not just surviving but ‘flourishing’. [...] Not only did I invite Brett to join us, I bought a second copy of his book for a friend who is considering following this career path. So, think on this – greater love hath no man for a book he is reviewing than to buy two copies using money from his own pocket.'

— Martin Pollecoff, psychotherapist and UKCP chair, 'New Psychotherapist', Spring 2019